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this magnificent actually exist outside of a fairytale? can you believe that this is actually a real, true thing that is out there? i just cant wrap my head around it. my favorite part is saturns moon tethys and how small and peaceful it looks next to such a giant

Current Mood: enthralled

Thing about having 16 or 17 year old cats is that everynight I go to sleep with mowglie on my left leg and bagherra encompassing my chest knowing it might be the last time I'm lucky enough to have them both there. I can't help but to entirely obsess over it. Everytime I leave for a weekend I worry ill come home to one less. I can't go on vacations anymore without losing my mind over them. And there is 2 of them. If one goes, the other won't be far behind. Then what's left?

The best part about getting sick is I've spent everyday hangin out with them. I couldn't really hangout with my humans, and I enjoy their company more anyways. its like a circus, whereever I go they follow right behind me like little ducklings.

Little ducklings that aren't allowed to leave me. Ever.
eating pasta shells because they make me think i am eating snails which is something that would be very interesting
3 LETTERS i wish would fall off the face of the earth. lets looks at it for a minute.

fml-fuck my life.

what is so horrible that you need to say fml? ive seen some as wonderful as 'i stepped in a puddle FML'

stepping in a puddle is so bad, so life changing that you actually need to fuck your life?

it is the one term i single handedly despise the most. (apparently handedly isnt a word? fml..JK.)
i got a readers digest the other day that had an article of the 7 type of friends you dont need in your life

one was about the friend who never gets a cold, they are DYING RIGHT NOW. they dont get a cough, they get the bird flu bronchitis polio. pretty much the extreme over dramatics. man going thru twitter/fb has made me realize how many of those people there are. it makes me feel badly that they dont see the happiness in anything because they are too caught up in that darn puddle. i gotta say, for having the h1n1 ive kept my bitchin and moaning to a pretty fair minimum. everyone needs to mildly complain. no need to FML. no one needs to hear complaining 24/7, it gets to be so depressing to be around. . why do so many people complain so heavily over such small things? 'ugh someone stepped on the back of my pants and MY LIFE IS OVER RIP ME' stop complaining gosh effing darnit. so many people are too busy DYING and FTL'ing that they dont realize how good they often have it. trust me, i know its easy to complain. but if you stop and think about what youre complaining about, 87% of the time you'll save yourself from looking like a miserable jerk. no one likes those. life happens. roll with the punches. by complaining nonstop about it, youre just nonstop reliving an unsavory moment and getting stuck in it and bringing yourself down into the dumps.

i just had to vent. twitters been getting to me. so theres my complaint over over-complainers. relax, take a breath, if you have a roof over your head and the health of you and your loved ones(including cats), life cant be THAT bad.
my take on halloween. all my friends dress skanky and i dress like a man!

i just realized i will not be able to play farkle for 9 whole days. also for the past 3 nights ive had those creepy dreams where ive fallen madly in love with some dude ive never seen before and weve been in california so perhaps ill accidentally fall in love on this trip. i kept waking up and wondering where he was and then realizing it was a dream. which is probably good because i was at a wedding yesterday and realized that getting married would probably send me into a massive panic attack. my ears would shoot blood.

that was 2 moments after learning how to use the timer on my camera. and after eating a cinnabon in a record 4.1 seconds

it was also sorta hilarious when i asked the waiter if i could have the vegetarian meal and so the special soup he brought me was vegetables in beef broth. lol. i totally wasnt gonna say anything so i traded it for a lotto ticket and won 2 dollars. then my vegetarian noodles came with cheese on them. as did the salad. i ended up winning 2 more dollars for that trade. the entire table probably thought i had some major issues since i was trading my food for lotto tickets.

do you ever catch a glimpse of the sun and stop and really think about it? like the sun. just a star 93 million miles away. yet its just the right distance. its weird how fragile things really are when put into the grand perspective. too close and youre mercury , too far and youre neptune and a couple billion miles away. its too much to think about. a boring little star thats letting us live. and giving me these wonderful summer freckles. ick. oh the other day i thought i had a liver spot freckle next to my nose and almost died. turns out my chocolate brown eyeliner had smudged onto my hand and then i touched my face. PHEW.

farethewell. i am off to find my passport since i will probably wake up surprised in mexico again.

Current Mood: anxious anxious

i wish i had 119 dollars so i could buy this

there is only one. thats it. once that one is gone i am off. and im not even like peanut butter and jelly, nor butter infused with canola oil. rolex? no. relax.

this is very important.
i love two of them. i am so disgustingly attracted to dr house and special agent gibbs that i want to be involved in some navy crime that gibbs investigates that leaves me injured in the care of doctor house. since i recently realized my boyfriends of my life have gone white, brown, white, brown, i guess this means i must be on my white kick. theyve also gone drug dealer/dropout, student, plumber and bartender. my type is very very very specific.

maybe ill keep writing blogs. not like anyone uses this anymore. also i feel a cold brewing in my nose. not siked. north carolina in less than 2 weeks. VERY SIKED. ive never made it past thier airport. im gonna raise up, take my shirt off and spin it around like a helicopter. dont think i will? just wait for the pictures.
of the summer include this for the nails

this for jewelry

these for clothes

along with various things that come in tacky floral patterns. and that is my summer palette!

lots of gold. the more gold the better.

oh and this for hair. at least for the next week until it turns green from my excessive pool lounging

Current Mood: predatory

First let me start this by saying I know it is very arrogant to assume someone should care about something going on in my life that really doesn’t have any real bearing on their life. But, as Ben kweller once said 'nothing isn’t nothing, nothings something that’s important to me.'

Considering that like 70% of you guys I don’t actually know in real life, I need to vent for a moment. This is something that’s been weighing heavily on me for a few days now which is ridiculous and making me lose sleep for some reason.

So on Monday I started a new job. Granted it is not like I am a rocket scientist or anything super important like that, but it’s a job nonetheless and one that I am pretty excited about (a nanny). With the exception of Jamie and Chris, not a single one of my friends from all the reaches of the United States of America has asked me about it, or how my first day went or anything like that. Not like id have much to say about it, but a simple 'hey how was the first day' from anyone would’ve really made a world of difference. Its not like it was some big secret, it was my face book status and I told a lot of my close friends about it. I know everyone has a lot of stuff going on, but this week has already been a tough one for me what with all the pms/boyfriend drama/ex-boyfriend drama/being disgusting sick again but it really hurts and sort makes me feel like no one cares. Once again, this is just screaming DRAMA QUEEN which I don’t mean it to because I’m sure it isn’t all that important but it’s been bumming me out for a couple days now and it’s important to me. I really care about all of my friends lives so I think that’s what is letting me be bothered the most. I feel like this post I should do as a diary entry but whatever. and I’m not singling out any of my friends in particular, because I consider myself to have about half a dozen really good close friends that I talk to frequently, and I’m not undermining Jamie/Chris by any means whatsoever because I’m so glad they did, but I guess I’m just really surprised that out of that group they were the only ones to ask. My gosh do I feel like eeyore right now.

That being said, I’m really enjoying this and spending time outside with a neat little baby who I converse with while he just smiles and boogers everywhere. I needed something to get me out of the house that wasn’t wandering my local target and spending money I don’t have. (Although I did find some nice acrylic paint and my inner painter has come out with a VENGENCE)

i am tacky. but this is another post about dumb turtles. once upon a time i gave satch and rams a pretty home full of rocks and pebbles and things when they lived in my room. then satchel realized his true dream of becoming an architect and soon kept me up every night building things out of rocks and moving them around (im not even kidding)

well theve been living downstairs for like a year now, and today i became inspired, so 150 dollars later they have a whole new girly setup. before it was ugly and manly and i hated looking at it. now its full of black and purple and green gravel and stuff. oh, and i also partially did this because it turns out that if their water stays cold for too long, they begin to hibernate! well since the heater shattered and electrocuted a fish and electrically shocked me, they have been living in a cold tank. so they started to hibernate. satchel began to lose his top shell scuttles much like a snake sheds. so now they have a lovely new heater too. and while i was cleaning out the tank i also cleaned out his shell pieces:

weird huh?

so now satchel also has rocks again. he has had his tank like this for about 4 hours and i went downstairs and he has re discovered his architectuarl roots! literally, everything was moved. thanks dude. i didnt spend hours setting it up or anything. oops i just called her a dude. but seriously. what.a.freak.

before the re arranging:

also, l-r in case you are curious: rigel, king tut with the bitten tail, greta van sustren with the stroke mouth, satchel, terrifying large water monster who i am too scared of to name, king ramsesII(hes hard to see). (note the rocks under the heater)


no more.

he also decided he wanted to move his statute thing. it used to be all the way against the back

here is mowglies head being groomed

my new favorite picture

my disgusting blister

they dont want you to call...or get a job

such fancy eyes (man i cant believe i used to have a red room. gross. )

i will end with this, a picture to instantly make me and or jamie pee all over ourselves

i have decided that a coat tree similiar to this one:

would solve a major organization stoarge problem i have with my bags and purses.

in my quest to find one (i have a very specific idea in my head) i went to a consigment store and instead of finding what i originally was looking for, i hit a bundle of gold. a wall of old national geographics. its the one thing i actively collect because the pictures in those move you in a way that its hard to be moved in any other way. i was super bummed when they said they were a dollar each, because there were like 300 and i wanted them all. so i decided id find ones with stories on shipwrecks, mummies and space. i also got one about florida because allie is from there, and i found the one my mom has been searching for forever on door county, wisconsin. and i also got ones on rome with the duomo on the cover. its weird to me i have such well travelled friends when ive only done the north american thing. oh well. someday. i stopped once i hit 40. then at the checkout i found out THEY WERE ONLY 29 CENTS EACH!!! i still only got 40 (because half the fun of collecting is the search for them) and like 12 bucks later im thrilled. i even found the one on the moon landing.

this also works out well because starting monday im gonna nanny 4 days a week 4 hours a day for an 8 month old and sometimes his 5 year old sister. and half that time the baby is asleep so i will have a TON of reading material. awesome.

now on a final note that i will not get into much because jamie isnt here with the non panic attack medicine, here is one of the trashiest texts messages ever sent.

'i dont care about puke...i probably have some on me now'


actually on a better final note REX MOVES HERE THIS WEEK! that is thrilling. i love dude friends and hes such a good dude friend. i only semi hate him now because i will never go to another cubs game with allie but i also know tricks of kidnapping and hiding people in trunks of cars and saying well geez we shouldnt let this fine tickets go to waste!.

and on a final final note, nights like last night make me realize how good my friends are and how lucky i am. the fact that jamie sacraficied a fun weekend nite out because i was dealing with shit and stayed in with me, never complained once or even acted like there was anywhere else shed rather be. of course, friends are expected to do things like that for other friends. but its all about how they actually deal with it, the words they actually say, the advice they actually give and they sense they actually make. jamie- you are good. allie- you are good. ilub sssssm.

oh im bored im gonna post a few pics.

such a good drinking face

cool new star trek clothes

my new boyfriend sits on my lap during dinner

Current Music: jay-z

so every so often i look up information about these stupid awesome turtles i have. what led me this time is that yesterday i put my finger in the water and got elctro-shocked AGAIN. i thought i fixed the problem. i did not. my beasts arent grounded so apparently they arent getting shocked?? who knows. but i am so sick and tired of spending over an hour every couple days cleaning their damn tank(and lately recieving the worst shocks of my life). so i decided its time to splurge and invest in a nice canister filter which is over 200 dollars. but im already poor, so whats being more poor? so in my quest to find the cheapest ones i started to wiki. i found out that my turtle has a pyramid on its back because i feed it too much. then, i found out that females start producing eggs around the age that satchelina is now. and if they dont have dirt or sand or a place to bury, they wont lay the damn eggs and itll cause massive health problems. AHHH!! A) WHY DID YOU HAVE TO TURN OUT TO BE A GIRL? I NAMED YOU A BOYS NAME, BE A DAMN BOY. B) look at your damn brother. he is tiny and clean and doesnt try to eat me and doesnt growl at me and hasnt grown a pyramid on his back (although he is egyptian, so if he does, ill allow it) and c) why must you keep growing!!!

on the plus side, apparently satchlina has a shorter lifespan than many other breeds. only 40 years!!!! i am a tenth of the way there!!! she will die when i hit retirement age. at least little ramses will be with me til the end. we can feast on satchel soup together.

but also it actually costs me sooo much money to keep them up that ive lately debated giving satchel away. but i cant do it. weve been thru too much together. and im scared she wont be taken care of. ugh. id keep the other one because he wont grow more than 4 inches long. whereas monster turtle is currently surpassing the foot long mark.

oh well. if anyone knows how to take care of a turtle better than i, please let me know. i need tips. i am losing it.
So you know when you read or hear a lot about somebody and then you either meet them or watch them on tv and its like...super exciting? I always read about these egyptians and have been for a while, so for some reason EVERY time I watch egypt: engineering an empire I get all goosebumpy and it sounds totally insane but I feel like I'm watching my....friends? Ok not my friends. I'm not that delusional. But its like you know them so well on paper and then this show brings them to life and I'm just like.....omg. And hearing a voice narrate their life that isn't me makes it even better and more real. There's no point to this except for that I have two more hours of this and I need something to do during the commercials. I am intrigued by these people. If you are ever bored and want to read an interesting story, wiki 'hatshepsut' she was a cross dressing pharaoh who ruled for her son thutmose III and she's just this crazy little bitch who wore fake facial hair. Ok that is all. I hope you all have caught up on your mummifying techniques, aquired a collection of canopic jars and have your north and south down so you can properly bring me into the afterlife. Xoxo

Current Mood: weird weird

the other day i figured it out. walking into the rocket science class i was about to teach, i realized i just want to be a science teacher. maybe 7th or 8th grade. when they learn the most about the solar system, and trees, and chlorophyll and stages of clouds.

then i realized...wait one mfing second. first i want(need) a super sweet /superficial job in the fashion industry. it was really fun going to college where you are judging every single person and being judged by every single person for what you wear as much as what you say. it sounds weird to type it, but i live for that stuff. every single person who i see gets an instant outfit critique (and you KNOW you do it too. its the outer shell of the body. everyone notices what everyone wears).and thats not to say that i consider myself Gods gift to fashion earth by ANY means. i steal zillions of my ideas from allie f meyer and magazines and hilary duff and hell you would NEVER see posh in a black gap hoodie. but i sure wear this black hoodie ALL the time. (although you will never see me roam the streets in sweat pants...) but the second i get a dime in my bank account i want to run to the mall and just shop and i feel like its what really inspires me a lot. STEEGS i know you are with me. and not being in school and being around fashion all the time, its like im really losing part of myself. my heart fluttered when i realized matthew williamson had released his h&m line already unbeknownst to me. man we used to start classes by chatting about womans wear daily. its like the struggle of two worlds. sure, when it comes down to it the science thing is going to be a more lifelong who i am. this fashion thing will most likely fly out the window once i have kids and cant be superficial anymore. or one day, that inspiration might just leave me and i might not care anymore. but until that day comes its all i want to do. being in an office, going on job interviews, i mean having a cubicle would be like locking me up. it drives me nuts. i need to talk to people. i need to be moving. i cant sit and stare at 5000 emails a day. i need to look at 5000 sketch boards and critique where the hem is, and decide it needs to be cut on the bias.

now i just need to stop complaing and do something about it. hey elton and billy...need a costume stylist for your tour? hit me up. i will do it for free, just sing goodbye englands rose to me.

and that is that. i cant stand listening to how unhappy people are with where they are at in life, careerwise or otherwise. if you are unhappy, change it. life is too short to spend your time being miserable. i know there are bills to pay, lord do i know. but that shouldnt stop anyone from activly searching for something better.

Current Mood: listless listless

Playboy: How cautious are you when it comes to having sex?

weezyfbaby: I have to be more cautious now. Let me tell you the trick to that. What you do is stop ramming them hos and make love to that pussy! Make that pussy love you and that rubber ain't going nowhere. That rubber will be right there where you started off with if you make love to that pussy. That's when a nigga fuck up, when you trying to do too much. A nigga like me, I am gonna make the pussy so wet that there's no such thing as popping or slipping off. Only problem I am gonna have is keep slipping it in.

Current Mood: uncomfortable uncomfortable

i plan to subside off oatmeal, house salads and peanut butter granola bars and special k with soy milk. i am hoping in 9 days i will weigh 120 lbs. this should be funny. i actually dont care how much i weigh but i might as well put in some sort of mental goal. and during the 1 day i will allow myself to drink ill be like my boyfriend and drink vodka waters with a splash on cran. oh yeah, i have a boyfriend. more on that later. speaking of boyfriends, rex is moving to chicago in 2 months. and so is katie. and jamie is leaving in 6 months. but for those 4 months everyone is here(save for jessica) life will be excellent. allie is taking me to opening day and omg am i excited. britallie time. my baby girl spoils me

in case you are wondering whats in 9 days, it is kellys wedding. and besides friends from high school, she is my longest running friend. i am so beyond excited for her and yet slightly very nervous for the wedding. but a lot of that is due to the fact that im gonna be in it and although all eyes will be on kelly, i know all eyes are also on the alter which is where i am. and i will be wearing heels. and will probably have yellow/purple/bluegreen hair. oh well. i hope i dont trip on the way down. and i hope my boobs dont pop out.
Today I typed up this 6 page paper thing my mom had written for some church thing she is doing. In the process of course it made me rack my brain more and more on God and Jesus and everything. Because I hate accepting something based on what people tell me without exploring into it myself, but everything regarding that is all heresay and whatnot. And maybe I'm just at that age where I'm still questioning what I believe and what I want to believe when it occured to me: had cameras and film been invited 2000+ years ago I'd have no questions! There would be fan pics with Jesus and stuff. Hmmm did I write 2 serious blogs in a row? Also I know I've written about this before but its been on my mind seriously so much that it like leaks from my pores. I don't want to question it
So I will turn this into an open blog is people are comfortable with that. You don't need to answer. Or you can answer anonomously. But if you are so moved: do you believe in God? Jesus? Something else? What made you believe? Have you always? I feel like I'd break my familys heart if I said I wasn't sure weather to believe or not yet. I mean they haven't been able to wake my ass up for church in probably 5 years but still. I'm just so against the fact that people don't believe in evolution when it is more tangible than adam and eve. But I really want there to be more. I need there to be more. I need to die and then sit on floating clouds with my dead grandparents baking cupcakes and giving some to monique. I need to hangout with the captain of titanic. I need to flirt with pharoah ramsesII and get makeup tips from cleopatra.
so ive seen a lot of those famine pictures and such, and all those commercials on tv and have always just nonchalently been like 'oh that is sad' but left it at that

then i saw this picture just now and i think i just finally understood it and i am like gasping for air. a child the size of a hawk. probably smaller than my runt 5 pound cat who is probably fed more treats in one day than this child does in 1 week.

Current Mood: sad sad

skinny benji. i am so in love. bEnJiS gUrL 4lYfe

that lil baby left me 5 months ago today and i can finally think about her without sobbing. i saw this and smiled and it brightened up my day that she was so fashionable so i thought i should post this and brighten your days as well. she is so french looking
lost my dignity for the day. at least my hair looks very pretty
So here I anm lying in bed and suddenly the medley for 'I want it all' by the transplants comes on my tv and I spazzed. They are the new background music for delta faucets? Anywho tomorrow I am going around and ripping out all my sinks and putting in delta faucets now. I miss the transplants that much. Good thing I got to see them 1.4 million times before they broke up.
I'm gonna join a gang, cover myself in tattoos and form a transplants cover band. I think I would be very happy in life doing that.

Also I feel like crap. I need to start eating better. Drinking for 2 days and only eating buttery bagels is not very copacetic. I wonder if I used that word right. Ugh! Water. Ill just drink more water. I need protein pills I think. Or syringes of peanut butter to shoot into myself.

Anyone feel like telling me how to lj thru email? It asks for a pin. What in hecks bells is a pin.

I'm sad M.I.A's baby isn't named ickett. I like that name. Ichobod craine.

Current Music: everytime I see you falling- new order. (glad I figured that out)

I am 23 and just learned how to spell definitely. I have spent 23 years saying def. Because I can never ever remember. I just googled it to get the proper spelling so now I need to find a trick for my brain to remember it

Jack black looks like a plus size joe jonas.

I'm gonna be so angry when it gets cold again.

Also I almost died when my brakes went out. I should probably inform my father when my car makes weird noises.

Tricky dick nixon made elvis an honorary federal agent. That is awesome. I am going to become a fed and go around confiscating marijuana. and then build a box and fill it up with smoke and put trixie in it to make her calm down.

I had forgotten how annoying shoulder length hair is. It flips out all the time.

I love todays date. I have get low in my head because of it. 369. TO THE WINDOWWWWWWWWWWW. TO THE WALLLLLLLLLLLL. Buh dum dum dum.

Open absinthe bar tonight. Bomb.com.

Time to get my swagga on. (Hear that, ti? Were meant for one another...)

Current Music: girltalk